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I arrived Dublin on Holy Wed 11 April feeling very tired. My flight from Sydney to HK was delayed for 4 hours. The flight from HK to London was also delayed, leaving me less than an hour to connect my flight to Dublin. I managed to get on the plane just before the boarding gate was closed. Finally I arrived Dublin about 8.45am but without any luggage! After filling in forms to report my missing luggage, I took a taxi to my apartment. Chris and Bosco came and pick me up at 11am to see Fr Deane and to take him out for a Chinese meal. Fr was delighted to see me. We had a very nice lunch. We left Fr at about 4.30pm. I finally got my luggage about 6.30pm that evening. I was totally exhausted.
Three weeks before I departed Sydney, I arranged with the Nursing Home so that Chris, Bosco and myself can take Fr out for a Chinese lunch on Easter Sunday. But on Good Friday, I was told by the Nursing Home that Fr Foster wanted Fr to go to Salesian House for lunch and our prearranged Easter Lunch would have to be cancelled. This was most disappointing for all of us as I have traveled half way round the world to share this special day with Fr Deane. Fr Deane wanted to go out with us too. But as Fr Foster was his superior the Nursing Home said there was nothing they could do. Chris and Bosco had already booked a table at the Chinese restaurant and they had to cancel it. They always got to spend Christmas and Easter and other festivals with Fr Deane, but not this time.
As Old Boys who visited him or read news about him know, in his present state of Parkinson's disease, Fr Deane has great difficulty eating and communicating. It is unimaginable to leave him alone to try to overcome these difficulties all by himself. I was wondering then whether I should accompany Fr Deane to the Salesian House Lunch to at least keep him company.
The Provincial of the St John of God order, Br Ronan (?) visited Fr Friday afternoon. He was very friendly, kind and gentle, holding Fr's hand and looking caringly at him the whole time. Br Ronan knew Fr Deane way back when he was working in Korea. They were then trying to set up a Hospital in Korea and Fr Deane helped to get medications and other things to send it to them. I have been told that he visited Fr Deane in the Nursing Home frequently. Genuine friendship did brighten up the day for Fr.
On Saturday, Fr Foster left a message to let me know that if I wanted to, I could go to Salesian house and he would drop us both back to the Nursing Home.
On Sunday, the taxi came and picked us up at 11am. Throughout the lunch, Fr Deane remained silent although I chatted freely with the priest next to me. I also explained my disappointment to Fr Foster. After lunch, he took us back to the home. There was no religious ceremony.
It really saddened me to observe that Fr Deane had to struggle with what most would regard as the normal day-to-day basics in life, like eating and talking, and in this particular occasion he had to do so in front of his peers who mostly are blessed with health. If I were him I would have withered under the enormous embarrassment. But I am happy to learn that he remained strong in mind and several days after Easter in his brighter moments, became his usual humorous self again and even made us laugh.
The Chairman of the Fr Deane Foundation Fund Trust, Mr Tony Wong, made a special trip to visit Fr. Tony came directly from Sydney to the Nursing Home and took Fr out for lunch. Fr was overjoyed to see Tony. We had a very nice lunch. Tony wanted to take Fr out for dinner because Fr loves Japanese sashimi. So the staff put him to bed for a couple of hours in the afternoon. They got Fr up at 5pm, washed and dressed him and we took him out for a Japanese dinner. Fr was very alert and happy. He had 4 servings of sashimi and to celebrate for such a happy occasion, we gave him a glass of whisky water. Tony was very attentive to Fr, feeding him and calling him "King of the old boys". Tony visited Fr again the next morning and had lunch in the Nursing Home with Fr. He left in the afternoon to fly back to Sydney. It is heartening to see Fr so happy. Unfortunately these occasions were so few and far in between.
The nursing staff and the administration staff have got to know Fr and his achievement, especially through the consistent love and support rendered by the Old Boys, some of whom have come from afar to visit him. They are very good to Fr. The carer looks after Fr really well. She brings him Chinese soup (I taught her how to make them) and some snack for afternoon tea. As a result, Fr's overall wellbeing has improved and has regained some weight. Unfortunately, Fr's communication skill has deteriorated. Sometimes, he speaks quite clearly but other times he mumbles on in a mixture of Italian, Cantonese and English. While I was there, I made Chinese soup and rice to bring to the home for Fr everyday. He loves Chinese food! No wonder people said he is more Chinese than Irish!
Employing the carer is the most essential factor in giving a better quality of life to Fr Deane. I like to thank all generous donors in making this possible.
AFTER THOUGHT
Caring for the aged and infirm is always a challenge. To do so to a person whom many know, respect and love is an even more formidable task. Father Deane was fortunate that he was looked after by the Salesian Society. For this we should all be grateful.
We, with the support of Old Boys from Hong Kong, Australia, USA and Canada and above all, Fr's close and only friends in Ireland - Chris and Bosco, have tried to help in giving Father what he needs to live better, happier and hopefully, longer. We tried to give Father what he wants and enjoys – which are really simple things like a hearty Chinese meal with friends or special occasions like a visit from an Old Boy. Yet under some circumstances even simple things are hard to come by.
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