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The Visit
For a long time I have wanted to visit my most respected and beloved Father Deane after he retired to Ireland. Due to work commitment, I have been unable to set a firm date until I made a Millennium New Year resolution to pay a special visit to my favorite teacher, friend and former Principal, the very Reverend Father Pat Deane in 2001.
I departed Sydney on Easter Monday, arriving Dublin early Tuesday morning. Chris and Bosco picked me up at the airport and took me to see Father.
When I arrived at the nursing home, Father was in his room, sitting in his boxer chair. I greeted him and gave him a big bear hug. He seemed delighted to see me and gave me a pat on my head, smiling broadly. My first impression was that he has gained weight compared to what I have seen in photos for the last couple of years. I learned from Theresa that our carer is taking great care of him, giving him Chinese soup, snacks, yogurt, fruit etc. everyday. But his communication skill has deteriorated a lot since I last saw him. What used to be his greatest assets, eloquent speech and photographic memory are now his failings. He had difficulty sometimes expressing himself and could not find the right word to use. It is heart breaking to see him in such a state.
Chris and Bosco took us to their familiar Chinese restaurant, the China-Sichuan Restaurant for lunch. It was not easy for us to get  Father in and out of the car. Without Chris and Bosco, we would not be able to manage. The Boss and the waiters at the restaurant know Father well as Chris and Bosco took Father there every week. We had a lovely meal and I told Father that I would take him out for dinner that evening and asked him if he would like to have Chinese or Japanese? He replied straight away. "Japanese"
After lunch, Chris and Bosco took me back to my Hotel to check in and Theresa took Father back to the home for a siesta.
We went back to the home about 5.30pm. Chris and Bosco took us to the Japanese Restaurant and we ordered some sashimi for Father. He was very alert, happy and enjoyed the sashimi. We  also gave him some "Holy Water" (Whisky) for this special occasion. Father looked very relaxed. It was wonderful to see him so happy. Unfortunately, I could not stay any longer; I sadly left Father the next day and headed straight back to Sydney.
Reflections
Father was very lonely in Ireland. From the very beginning many of us knew that it would be very difficult for Father to cope. He not only has to cope with his long-term medical condition, but also has to be away from his boys whom he loved so much. When I was at school, I, as many other boys, went to him whenever I needed help and advice. And he never turned anyone away. Many of us benefited a lot from him. Father actively practiced the teaching of Don Bosco…. " You must let young people know that they are loved and let them feel that they are being loved." Many of us felt the love that he bestowed onto us. It is time for us to reciprocate. Father was now old and infirm and all alone in a place faraway from his children.
Visit Father when you can
As Chairman of the Father Deane Foundation, I appeal to all Old Boys "to let him know that we love him and to let him feel that we love him." by visiting him if you can.
There is now a Visit Roster page on our website. Any old boy who plan to visit him can put down their name on the roster. (This was originally Dr Lawrence Wan's idea). It does not matter if you go the same time with some other old boys, the more, the merrier. We can help to book your Hotel, car hire, to ring the home, and/or contact Chris and Bosco if they are in Ireland.
What to do and what to expect
 With Father's conditions, he will enjoy your sitting down and keeping him company more than just a casual drop in visit. Remember that Father can become irresponsive someday while acting confused on other days.. For those of us who visited him often we would still need to work hard to communicate with him. Do not be discouraged.
Plan to spend some quiet time with him. Take him out for a meal (with help from Chris and Bosco). Do not rush. Most of all, try to let him know that you are there for him and not for anyone else.
Thank you
Before I sign off, I would like to thank all the kind donors for their generous donations, especially those who agreed to become our regular donors. Record of donations are periodically updated in our website. Because of you, our dear Father Deane's quality of life has improved.. We wish he will enjoy his life for a bit longer. Thank you and God bless you.
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