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Christmas is a lonely time or Fr Deane
I visited Fr this Xmas and I am very happy that I went. He would have been very lonely otherwise. He used to have a lot of people around him…. A lot of the nursing home residents have more visitors between Xmas and New Year but he has none. No one visited him during this period. The staff shortage was more pronounced too this holiday season, especially since the head nurse resigned and there was no one really in charge.
Chris and Bosco, true friends of Fr Deane
I arrived Dublin on 20 Dec 01. Chris and Bosco picked me up at he airport and took me to Rochestown Lodge Hotel. I had problem booking for accommodation at Xmas time as a lot of the suburban Hotels were closed for Xmas and I could not book any B&B place either. No one wanted a stranger at their home around Xmas. I stayed at this Hotel for 3 nights and moved to an apartment for the rest of my stay. Bosco and Chris helped me move. Since the Sept 11 incident in the US, they asked me to travel light because the airline and airport have stricter security checks. I used to bring a lot of items for Fr, but they said they would buy them in Dublin for him. Without them, I would be totally lost. Not only did they looked after Fr well; they looked after me too. I would like to express my sincere thanks to them.
The Question of Meals
On the first day, after taking a shower to refresh myself, we went to the nursing home to take Fr out for lunch. Fr was looking well but has lost a bit of weight since I saw him last. We had a hearty Chinese meal and we took him back to the home afterwards. I was not too tired this time after the long flight, so I stayed on until about 6pm. At 4.30pm, was his teatime(dinner). The portion was very small this time, especially for a big man like Fr. (He had a good dinner when I was there last time) So I enquired if he could have something more. I was told that he sometimes gets some left over meals from the staff lunch but that was not a long-term arrangement. I then enquired how I could make it a long-term arrangement. I said I would speak to the nursing home Director, the nurse administrator or even Fr Foster to organize this if I have to. The nurse then told me that she would enquire for me. Another nurse then came over and asked if I wanted some more for Fr. I said," Yes". I then suddenly remembered the other Salesian priest, Fr Bowman, who is at the other unit. I quickly went over and found that he had different meals and bigger portions too. I guess a lot of the patients at the other unit are more mobile so they can eat more.
The next day, I spoke to the Director and asked if Fr can have a hot meal every evening and a bigger portion as Fr is a big man and he always enjoys food. She approves and said she would talk to the kitchen. From then on, Fr has a much better meal and he is still getting it after I left.
On the whole Fr Deane looked quite well. I noticed that he was now eating much slower than before. I have to cut the food into smaller portions for him. One of the problems with his condition is that the patient may have difficulty swallowing. I hope this is only a temporary setback. I would like him to eat normal food for as long as he can and not having to eat baby soft food
Christmas Lunch at Salesian House
Fr Foster invited Fr Deane to go to Salesian House for lunch on Xmas day, so I asked Marie, the lady who visits Fr Bowman everyday, that I wanted to tell Fr Foster that I would like accompanying Fr Deane to Salesian House for the Xmas lunch. I said that I travelled from Sydney especially to spend Xmas with Fr and I have no intention of spending Xmas by myself. Marie later told me Fr Foster agreed. So we had Xmas lunch at Salesian House. Marie drove us there. At Salesian House, I met the Provincial, Fr Smyth and some other priests. I gave Fr Smyth the letter of thanks and the box of chocolate from the Fr Deane Foundation. I also bought a small present for Fr Foster myself. We had a pleasant lunch and Marie took us back home.
The infected toe
After Lunch I told Fr Foster that Fr Deane had an infected toe and I requested that he should see an orthopedic specialist. I showed Fr Foster his infected toe. Fr Deane's big toe is so bent that it is almost perpendicular to the second toe. That toe is often sore and infected. Another Salesian priest suggested that he gets a pair of specially crafted shoes from the orthopedic department. I have told the home to make arrangement for Fr Deane to see the specialist. They have got a referral from his doctor and are now waiting to book an appointment. (Fr Deane seldom gets to see a specialist unless he was admitted to hospital.)
Basic Needs
Fr Deane is not living in luxury as some un-informed would say. Basic living essential items such as clothing and toiletry items are not automatically supplied to Fr. When I noticed that such items are supplied to another Salesian priest Fr Bowman (who belongs to the same Salesain House, Crumlin) living in the same nursing home, including soft drinks which Fr Deane never have, it was very difficult for one to understand. Well, as Fr Deane said, " I have learned to accept everything". He did not complain, just accepting what was bestowed upon him. Luckily we now have the kind assistance of Chris and Bosco who will buy these essential items for Fr Deane. Fr Foster has kindly agreed to reimburse such expenses to Chris and Bosco.
The Love of the Old Boys
However, I guess Fr Deane is also very lucky in his own way to have so many old boys willing to support him and to give him a better quality life. This year, he received a lot of Xmas cards and some chocolates. A couple of old boys sent their family photos together with their cards. He recognized the boys from the photos which meant more to him than just a name. These photos made him so much happier.
The Carer
He gets on fabulously with the carer and she loves him. She spoils him and enjoys his company. He is talking more especially to the carer. He does not miss me that much now when I left this time because he understands I have to leave but will visit him regularly. More importantly he has the carer to keep him company. It is essential that we have Helen. He also gets on very well with her daughter, Carolyn, who has just given birth to a baby girl last Saturday. And she looks forward to working alternate weeks and Saturdays after her maternity leave.
Father A Smith
Fr Alex Smith was sent back to UK and stayed in a nursing home for a couple of months. He has since returned to HK accompanied by Fr McKenna. He is now residing in the Salesian Monastery in Shaukiwan. I visited him this time. He was in good spirit and happy. The HK Salesians have organized a priest to take him out 3 times a week and took another elderly priest to visit him once a week. He has Alzheimer's and is not allowed to go out himself. (He slipped away 5 times though. The police found him 3 times and they found him twice inside St Louis. I think he is very smart to be able to get out even though he was locked in). I don't know if he recognized me. He said he did. But he is happy to see me and we had a sing along together. The Salesians have done the right thing to allow him to go back to HK. I enquired why he was back in HK after he was sent back to UK. I have been told that Fr Smith chose to return to HK. Any old boy who has time can visit him in Shaukiwan, just next to the Salesian School. I told him I would be visiting Fr Deane and would be flying out that evening. He said, " I like Paddy. He is a good man. He is always running around helping people. I like to visit him." After I left, as I was traveling back to my hotel, there was a feeling of nostalgia. Fr Smith, Fr Joyce, Fr McKenna and Fr Deane had been looking after me so well. Some old boys and me had been trying to make life a bit more tolerable for Fr Deane. And that has not been easy. Most things are achievable, especially when those in authority are willing to give.
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